Thursday, October 23, 2008

Why I should have been a high school education major

My friend Emily is a college English professor. One of her grad students is currently doing her student teaching and assigns the kids to use their vocabulary words in sentences. Then she shares the sentences with her college class and Emily consequently shares them with us. And I think our friend Angel put it best "I love this so much I could hug it."

If I'm in church and I'm feelin the lord I tenacious someone's hand.
Communism permeated in China a long time ago.
Billy Bob feed his chickens with notoriety.
Everyone has to get a tantamount of food.
My girl has a special place that she go hackneyed.
I couldn't tell that one my aunt was pregnant because she's socorpulent as it is.
My mum and I are completely incompatible, we're like day & night at the same place & time.
The cold permeates through my jacket like a hot knife through butter.
Incompatibility is impossible on
I'm in the retard class, and we only know the rudimentary skills ofgrammar.
Before the man was hung, he was thinking on how tenacious the ropeholding him was.
Just by looking at it, you could tell the greased up pig was very elusive.

Monday, October 20, 2008


When I was 5 or 6 years old my mother made us memorize If I Had A Hammer by Peter, Paul, and Mary. No, this was not as punishment. It was to be sung by us as we marched in the annual 4th of July Parade in my Grandma's neighborhood. We had sandwich board signs with lines of the chorus written on them. To this day I can sing the whole thing and I am not proud of that but it always brings me joy as the nostalgia comes rushing in.

Today Mia asked me what "justice" means. So I explained it and she was like, "how do you use it in a sentence because we sang a song about it today?" I asked what song and could she sing it and she said, "I don't remember but it's about a hammer. I hammer justice." And OH. MY. GOD. My daughter knows If I Had A Hammer.

We proceeded to belt that MFer out and as I just mentioned. I still know all of it. It was a moment very few can appreciate (hello Megan & Steve) but is the stuff of parental legend! As my cousin Shane would say, that is some justice!

P.S. I am developing quite the lyrical crush on her music teacher. She has come home singing Yellow Submarine and the theme to Happy Days. When I was a kid, I learned Hot Cross Buns on the recorder.

Psychic Daughter: Part 3

Mia keeps displaying her amazing talents of clairvoyance. Please enjoy this conversation after a recent jewelry class she is taking at school:

Mia: I don't know why the teacher didn't get mad that I didn't do a pattern
Me: Well, you don't have to do a pattern, it's ok to do whatever you want; it's your necklace.
Mia:But she said to do the beads in a pattern but when she looked at mine, she didn't say anything.
Me:How about next week you make a pattern?
Mia: No, Layla doesn't like patterns
Me: How do you know that?
Mia: I can read her mind.